


listen before i go

by qiankgs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bin is sad, Heavy Angst, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Notes, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 17:03:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18473275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiankgs/pseuds/qiankgs
Summary: take me to the rooftopi wanna see the world when i stop breathing, turning blue





	listen before i go

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is basically a vent bc i'm Sad ! and need to get this shit out somewhere

It’s midnight when Woojin’s world shatters.

It shatters with broken glass and crushed metal, with the crumpling of a body into the roof of a car. It shatters with a body falling at 102 feet per second off of the rooftop of the eighteenth floor of his apartment building. Jump- silence- crash.

It shatters when he runs down the five flights of stairs to the ground to help the people he thinks are involved, looking for the car crash. Sweet ignorance.

It shatters when he sees his boyfriend’s crumpled form on top of a taxi, the roof crushed under his head and his torso laid out on the windshield with his legs dangling onto the hood like some sort of morbid bed. The glass of the windshield and front windows covers his clothes, crystalline snow. 

He feels a scream pry its way from his throat when he remembers that Changbin was on the roof, that he had left while Woojin was studying for some air. He remembers his boyfriend’s sad smile, he remembers not stopping him. And now Changbin is laid out in front of him, his eyes open and unfocused. They’re glazed over. Doll-like. 

He isn’t sure when he crawled onto the car, when he started screaming and crying for Changbin to  _ wake up god please wake up this isn’t funny oh my god please you can’t do this to me Binnie please please wake up.  _ Isn’t sure when the shrill wailing of the sirens began to drown out his own screaming. He fists his hands in Changbin’s shirt as his tears mix with the blood and begs for his boyfriend to _ just come back oh my god please come back to me please please _ and he feels cold, the residual heat slowly draining from his body in the cold city air. Woojin feels his boyfriend’s bones move under his hands and chokes a horrified sob, screaming  _ why why WHY  _ to the unresponsive face in front of him.

Changbin’s lips are blue. Red leaks out from between them, slipping down the side of his face and onto the roof of the car that’s shaped around his head from the impact like a metal pillow. Woojin wipes it off- if he can just keep Changbin from bleeding maybe he’ll be okay he’ll be fine  _ he just has to hang on _ . His legs slip against the metal of the car, warm blood soaking through his clothes. He isn’t sure if it’s his own or Changbin’s. He doesn't care. 

He screams and kicks at the hands trying to pry him from his boyfriend. He claws at Changbin’s clothes and begs and pleads for him to _ wake up  _ as a man in a bright yellow vest pries him off. He screams as they cover Changbin with a sheet, as they load him onto the gurney and zip up the white bag. Woojin screams as the paramedics restraining him sedate him, as he watches the bag containing his boyfriend be loaded into the ambulance. 

_ “Why are you doing that to him? He doesn’t need that! He’s okay, he’s alive why won’t you fucking **listen** to me?! He can’t be dead- you need to save him you’re the fucking **paramedics** , do something! Binne tell them you’re okay please just do something I’m begging you please just do something! Please Bin, please…” _

 

* * *

 

There’s a note on their bed. It’s the first thing Woojin finds when he’s home from the hospital. From being stitched up where the glass had cut him while his boyfriend had laid in a morgue. Dead. Alive.

“Dear Woojin,

I’m sorry hyung, I’m so fucking sorry but everything is just so much. School, work, just… living. I’m sorry- fuck I’m really sorry I just can’t do this anymore, I can’t lie to you and say everything is okay every day. I can’t keep smiling and gritting my teeth. I love you I love you I just can’t do this and I’m so fucking sorry I just can’t do this. You shouldn’t have to deal with this or with me I’m so sorry everything is just so much but I love you more than anything I’m sorry I’m sorry I love you I’m selfish I’m sorry please forgive me I love you baby I’m so sorry-”

The rest is cut off by running ink and drop shaped distortions. Woojin crumples the note and holds it to his heart.

 

Woojin isn’t there for Changbin’s funeral. Isn’t there for anything anymore. He sits on the roof, looking at the heavens for the boy who never learned to fly.


End file.
